Friday, December 30, 2005

Onward to Canada

As if in response to our recent guestpost by our Canadian friend, the WaPo publishes an article today outlining the "recent" (1930) plans drawn up by the US government to invade and conquer Canada. I've seen Canadian history textbooks, they tend toward the paranoid, but perhaps they were right all along! Canadian textbooks explain that their great union of providences came about because they feared a victorious northern army in the American Civil War. They justify this fear by pointing out that the US had already invaded their country twice (1776 and 1812). Well, apparently even the most outlandish fears are sometimes justified. It now appears that the US had plan to invade Canada until the Second World War, if ever the friendship came to blows I guess. One can only assume that no plans to invade Canada currently exist, although with the current administration, one is allowed to doubt that wisdom.

Not to be outdone, the Canadians had a war strategy of their own which included an agressive assault on a few "key" US cities - Albany, Minneapolis, Seattle and Great Falls, MT. I hear tell that the mayor's residence in Great Falls was highly prized by the Canadians. (Targets today might include the Mall of America or Wall Drug in South Dakota.) Such an invasion would have been the first sign of the southern migration of hockey which, from all indications, didn't need any sort of military stragety. Canadian hockey has successfully left Canada and migrated south to warmer climes with its aging population. A current Canadian strategy would necessarily involve infiltration from within or addiction to Canadian pharmaceuticals.


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